Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize