pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
