so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
