Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
