dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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