she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
