the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
