I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize