WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
