only if we run a train.
done.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
