I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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