I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
