remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
