i permit you to call me
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
