Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm just crazy horny about you
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
