I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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