So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
