2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
