we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
