I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
