he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
