I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
why do cheetos always look like penises
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
