Is it normal to miss your booty call?
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
