Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
