He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize