Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
