At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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