I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
