just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
