and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
