Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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