Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
