didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
