Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
