Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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