capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Randomize
