Acid is not a monday night drug
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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