No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
