When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
