Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
