You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
