Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
