Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
