Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
