Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
