i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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