thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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