We're like a lot better than the average bears
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
