pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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