Midget sex pt 2 tonight
She's JV to your varsity
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
so much tequila, so little girl.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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