girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
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