eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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