why didn't you poke me back
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
handjob tips. give me some.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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