I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
