At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
